Wednesday, December 10, 2014


I don't know why we started talking about it, but I couldn't remember the last time I was inside Emily.

"It's been forever," I said, complaining, but not really complaining.

"I can ask him," she said gently, meaning it.

"No...I...I don't want you to ask...I...I'm just saying it's been forever."

"Months, not forever."

"Seasons," I joked, then started thinking. "Seriously...we haven't since the wedding...since you met him...that was June...summer...and we hadn't for awhile before that...April...May? It's been since spring...and it's almost's been seasons...not months...seasons..."


"Do you miss it," I asked, trolling her.

She looked down. "I...I'd miss intimacy," she dodged the question.

"But not that," I pressed.

"No," she looked away, embarrassed. " you?"

"I like it..."

"Do you miss it," she turned it back on me.

"I...I don't know...I guess...I like other things more."

"I know," she touched my leg, "so do I, Sara."

"I'm not saying I never want to..."

"Do you? Will you...if Matthew..."

"Allows it," I finished. "Of course."

She smiled. "You're so adorable. god..."

"I might forget how..."

She had a guilty look. "You never really knew how, love," she teased, "I mean...with it inside me."


Her lover sees it as an invitation of "this is where your cock goes."

Her sissy husband sees it as an invitation of "this is where your face goes."

Random Updates

How to give an update without writing a 10,000 word story? Can I do it in bullet points? I can (will), but it's not as hot as the other way, I know:

  • Since the Halloween thing they've had several dates.
  • Emily and I talk about it often, what she sees in him, how it fits in our lives.
  • As she has always said, she could never be with a man like that, day to day. She's too strong, too independent, and knows she would clash with someone like Matthew if they were more than lovers.
  • But for that, as lovers, he fulfills a need she has from time to time to just, well, be with a man.
  • None of this is new to either of us. She's basically 'having her cake and eating it, too' as she gets me, day to day, and him, from time to time. 
  • She knows it's selfish to want both and only a very special person would let her have both.
  • If I was worried she'd fall in love with him, I'd be terrified; I'm not worried about that at all. He's interesting, important, exciting, but not that kind of threat.
  • The thing she has with him works, in large part, because it satisfies a need I have too. Deep down, psychologically, I want to submit, I want to be humiliated, I want to be emasculated. She knows it, but so does he.
  • Feminization, submission, chastity...these are...well...just part of my core.
  • He calls me Sara more and texts with me, in conversation with her.
  • Sometimes we go a week or more with no interaction with him...we all get busy...those are nice times for Emily and I to just be us...but we miss him.
  • Yes, I typed that...sometimes I miss my wife's lover (his strength, masculinity, and power are as compelling to me as to her).


Ahhhh, the memories of school, of the girls that used to tease me

Just because she won't let you tie her up doesn't mean she doesn't like to be tied up.

"Well...I'll say this...I can see why my daughter still wants to date..."

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Saturday, November 29, 2014

"I gotta say, your husband sucks cock almost as good as you, slut."

Saturday Night

"Don't be too jealous, Sara, you had Wednesday, Thanksgiving, and's only fair Matthew gets Saturday night."

Thursday, November 27, 2014

After doing all the cooking and cleaning on Thanksgiving, I'd say I earned my reward.

I'm thankful for (in no order except the first):



The girl inside me.



The freedom to be who I want to be.

The mobile internet revolution.

The man in our lives.

Whoever invented the CB6000S.

The relative peace and prosperity of the part of the world I live in.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Monday, November 24, 2014

I totally take it the right way!

Doggy Bag

"Honestly, honey, I really didn't mean to sleep with him, it just, well, kind of happened."


For those of you that remember these things, my anniversary was last week.

Emily and I celebrated on Saturday, though, had a wonderful day together furniture shopping (we're looking for a dining room table). We went to some quaint stores, came home and made dinner together, and sat on the couch until we went to bed.

No, we did not, as I had kind of hoped, have sex. That is, I did not, as I had hoped, get permission from Matthew to make love to my wife, like a husband and wife.

He'd asked me when we were celebrating our anniversary, somewhat reluctantly I told him a simple dinner on the day, plans for Saturday.

"That's okay, I hope," I texted, "you don't have plans with her, do you?"

"No I don't," he said, "I wouldn't do that, take your day, that would be cruel."

"Thank you," I said, meaning it.

"That said, it's too soon."

"What's too soon," I asked.

"What you want to ask and are afraid, what you're thinking about but won't say. What you're hoping to do..."

I didn't answer right away, he was right, but I didn't know what to say.

"Am I wrong...?"


"It's too soon."

"Too soon?"

"Too soon. It's too new for her...and for you...too soon to confuse the two of you. So...before you ask...the answer's no. It's too soon."

"Okay," I said, for what did one say to the man telling you that you can't make love to your wife.

"Understand I won't always say no, but it's too soon. For now, that part of her is mine."

Should I have been mad? Jealous? Hurt? Maybe, but I wasn't any of those things (well, maybe a little jealous). Instead, I was, well, excited. Excited at being denied. Excited at his control. Excited at the game we played. Excited that life was controlled, to some extent, to a large extent, by him.

He wasn't in our lives, day to day, that is, we did not see him every day, we didn't even talk to him every day. But his presence is with us.

Hey, I'm in the 1%

Some Random Thoughts:

Some people are mean. 

Emily is an amazing woman.

I'm very lucky.

I'm not ready for winter.

It takes me awhile to write things and I don't write about everything and sometimes I don't get to things I want to get to.

Sometimes I disappoint people. 


I should blog more...

Time is precious.

Totally need this book

No End